Adolescence \u2013 The Darkness Before the Dawn<\/p>\n
Do you remember what it was like to be an adolescent? The anger, the confusion, the rebellion? The intense need to express yourself, even in ways that were upsetting to the people around you?<\/p>\n
Or maybe you are the parent of an adolescent. Maybe you long for the days when he or she was a sweet, compliant child, wanting nothing more than to be just like you.<\/p>\n
Thankfully, adolescence doesn\u2019t last forever. And, in most cases, if you have truly good, solid values that you\u2019ve transmitted with love, your adolescent will pass through this phase of turmoil and breakdown and come out the other side as a person who makes you really proud.<\/p>\n
In fact, interestingly, it often turns out that the more trouble he gives you, the more likely he is to impress \u2013 or even amaze you \u2013 later on.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s because, as the child temporarily removes himself from your guidance, your dominance – your \u2018light\u201d, so to speak – he begins to question, to look inside for answers, to explore his own feelings and to express himself from the inside out.<\/p>\n
In an often chaotic, foolish, even destructive way, he begins to manifest his innate power to think his own thoughts, come to his own conclusions, choose his own goals and make his own decisions.<\/p>\n
And in doing so, he slowly begins to experience the sense of self without which he would always remain a child \u2013 someone less than, and dependent upon you.<\/p>\n
Turning a Moon into a Sun<\/p>\n
As difficult as it often is, this is a necessary stage in the evolution of an authentic human being. A young child, as sweet, precious and adorable as he may be, is largely just a reflection of his parents. Whatever you think, he thinks. Whatever you believe, he believes. Like the moon, he may be lovely, but he is a reflector. You assert, and he believes. You decide, and he accepts. You give, and he takes.<\/p>\n
As human beings, created in the image of the Creator, our destiny is not, ultimately, to be moons. We were created not simply to reflect, but to shine. We are destined to become suns, to offer our own unique \u201csomething\u201d to the whole of Creation.<\/p>\n
But the transition between reflecting and shining, moon and sun, is not smooth and linear. There is no logical progression from one state of being to the other.<\/p>\n
For that reason, this transition requires what is often known as a transformation \u2013 a leap from one state of being to another, completely different one. And when it comes to a transformation, the rule is this: in order to go up, you must first go down. If you want to become something new, you must first let go of what you were before.<\/p>\n
Darkness for the Sake of Light<\/p>\n
Sometimes this process is easy. Sometimes the darkness of the transition between the old and the new is almost imperceptible. And sometimes the darkness is so intense that it feels like there\u2019s no light at all. When this is the case, it means that you must go deeper, farther within yourself, to find a level of light and power that you weren\u2019t in touch with before.<\/p>\n
But whatever the case, the important thing is this: the darkness doesn\u2019t occur for its own sake. It has no intrinsic, permanent reality. It\u2019s there only on behalf of the transformation \u2013 the different, far greater light – that will come as a result.<\/p>\n
Searching Beneath the Lamp<\/p>\n
Three years ago I lost a younger brother to a sudden and terrible illness. My spiritual studies, which had been extremely important and pleasurable to me, became painful and difficult. All I could ask myself was: \u201cWhere is G-d, and how can He do this?\u201d<\/p>\n
My teacher told me a story that I will never forget. You may have even heard it before, although probably not in this context. Here\u2019s the story:<\/p>\n
Two men left a party and came upon a third man on his hands and knees under a streetlight, searching for something.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you looking for?\u201d they asked him.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy watch,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n
Ready to help him in his search, they asked: \u201cWhere exactly did you drop the watch?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOver there\u201d, he answered, pointing off into the distance.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo why are you looking here?\u201d one of the men asked in confusion.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause it\u2019s dark over there,\u201d the searcher replied.<\/p>\n
The Experience of Darkness<\/p>\n
Most of us look for our answers in the light \u2013 in what we already know, what we can understand, where we\u2019re comfortable \u2013 i.e. in the tried and familiar. But the real answers, the ones that really matter, usually aren\u2019t there. Those answers, the ones that allow us to see or be something that we couldn\u2019t see or be before, are \u201cover there\u201d \u2013 in the place where it\u2019s dark.<\/p>\n
Transformational challenges don\u2019t necessarily have to be particularly intense. They can be minor and trivial as a frustrating conversation, hurt feelings, a disappointment at work, or an unexpected bill. These things can certainly be used as impetus for us to grow and expand, to learn new things and try new ways of being.<\/p>\n
Or the darkness can be, G-d forbid, enormous and incomprehensible.<\/p>\n
But whatever the case may be, if you search for answers only where it\u2019s light \u2013 in the places you know, in the habits that make you comfortable, in the paradigms you already have \u2013 it\u2019s almost certain that you will never move very far from where you are right now.<\/p>\n
But if you become willing, instead, to be with the discomfort of the unknown, to reach, even for occasional moments, into the vast mystery, you may discover there an entirely new potential, a new understanding, a new level of light. And this light, the light that comes from the darkness, does not shine from the outside in. It shines within the depths of your heart, your mind and your soul \u2013 from the inside out.<\/p>\n
The Threefold Process: A Template for Creation<\/p>\n
This threefold process of transformation \u2013 from light, to darkness, to a much greater and more internal light – is one of the spiritual poles around which the world spins.<\/p>\n
In fact, when our great-great-grandparents, Adam and Eve, ate from the Tree of Knowledge and were exiled from Paradise, they were following this template.<\/p>\n
In the Garden of Eden before the sin, everything was beautiful. Everything was holy. There was no chaos, no rebellion, no darkness at all. Adam and Eve, together with everything in the Garden, simply reflected the intense Divine light of Creation.<\/p>\n
But G-d put a snake in the Garden \u2013 a snake that would seduce our forebears into rebellion and introduce darkness, evil and exile into Paradise.<\/p>\n
The Snake in the Garden<\/p>\n
The snake did not get there by accident. G-d intentionally included the potential for darkness in His plan for Creation. And, He included it such a way that it would be internalized – made a very part of who we are.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s because, in order for you to have the potential to transform something, it has to be yours.<\/p>\n
When G-d put the snake into Paradise, He ran a great risk. His choice to do so guaranteed that we would fall, that we would rebel, that we would sin. He gave us an enormous challenge.<\/p>\n
But at the same time, He gave us an unparalleled opportunity \u2013 one not shared by even the loftiest of angels. He gave us the power to transform all of the darkness of our world into light. He gave us the power to transform ourselves from passive recipients of His light to true partners in Creation.<\/p>\n
What Goes Down Must Come Up: The Paradigm of Transformation<\/p>\n
Kabbalah calls this process \u201cyerida l\u2019tzorech aliyah\u201d \u2013 a descent for the sole purpose of the ascent that will follow. It is the Divine template through which all true transformation occurs.<\/p>\n
Simple growth does not require this threefold process. It\u2019s linear, natural, logical and progressive. But transformation, an essential change from one state of being to another, to one degree or another always takes this path.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s how it works:<\/p>\n
In the first stage of the process, there\u2019s harmony, a sense of oneness, light. Everything\u2019s working just fine. But this harmony is superficial and therefore intrinsically unstable. Like the Garden of Eden before the fall, as long as circumstances are right everything looks good. But the potential for divisiveness and destruction is always there; it just hasn\u2019t been actualized yet. As long as the light shines, darkness will be suppressed. But it still exists in potential.<\/p>\n
In the second stage the unity falls apart and the potential for darkness is actualized. There is breakdown and chaos. Like the Garden of Eden after the fall, like our rebellious adolescent who suddenly rejects the values of his parents and wants to \u201cfind himself\u201d, what was once harmonious turns to chaos. But this chaos has an intrinsic purpose. It\u2019s there for the sake of the higher level of oneness that will come in its wake.<\/p>\n
The final stage is transformation. Like the phoenix from the flames, out of the chaos comes a brand new unity and a brilliant new light. And this time it\u2019s permanent.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s because now the light is no longer imposed from the outside. It has become an authentic expression of what lies within. Once this happens, there\u2019s simply no darkness left anymore \u2013 not because it\u2019s suppressed, but because it has been turned to light.<\/p>\n
Becoming Partners in Creation<\/p>\n
This transformation process takes place at all different levels in all aspects of life. It\u2019s also the paradigm for Creation as a whole.<\/p>\n
At the end of the process we will no longer obey G-d only because He knows more than we do, because He\u2019s infinitely bigger, stronger, and holier than us.<\/p>\n
Instead, we will do G-d\u2019s will because it has become ours. Instead of being simply G-d\u2019s servants, or even His children, we will be His partners as well, sharing His perspective, shining side by side.<\/p>\n
Going back to our adolescent rebel, once he completes this process, his values, beliefs and commitments are no longer merely a reflection of his parents\u2019. They are now his own. At this stage obedience is simply not an issue. Rather than obeying his parents, he relates to them, shares their perspective and their goals, and even better, expresses them in his own personal and unique way.<\/p>\n
Global Adolescence<\/p>\n
Our world is approaching the end of its long period of adolescence. That\u2019s why so many of us are seekers. That\u2019s why so many of us dream of a peaceful, harmonious, good and G-dly world, a world of abundance, purpose and meaning. Without necessarily even realizing it, we have begun to share the vision of our Creator.<\/p>\n
Our struggle is not yet completely over. Obviously, we need to grow. We are still very much in the process of becoming all that we are destined to be. But we are getting closer and closer to the end of that process. And once we find \u2013 fully find – our own inner light, it will be ours forever. There will be no more struggle, because who we should be and who we genuinely, passionately want to be will have become one and the same.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s what G-d wants from us \u2013 and even more important, for us. Our ultimate destiny is not to simply submit, to bow our heads and do the right thing. We certainly will do the right thing, but in a way that is infinitely more powerful and meaningful.<\/p>\n
We are destined \u2013 were always destined – to fully embrace our own essence, to experience G-dliness not only from without, but from within.<\/p>\n
In fact, it\u2019s the purpose of Creation.<\/p>\n
The Era of Transformation<\/p>\n
At this time in history, we are witnessing the breakdown of many of the things we once took for granted. Whether this breakdown expresses itself in our leadership, our values, our children, our communities, our environment, our sense of security, or our dreams, it can be tremendously painful, frightening and confusing.<\/p>\n
But this darkness, as always, is here for one reason: to push you to transform, to fulfill your true potential, to become the person you were truly born to be. These times are intensely challenging. But there has never, in all of history, been an opportunity like the one before us today.<\/p>\n
And this opportunity, this potential for transformation, expresses itself not only in a global sense, but in the very real and tangible details of your personal life.<\/p>\n
Next time you feel stuck, frustrated or disappointed, confronted by an obstacle or challenge \u2013 whether in a relationship, work or any other area of life, be aware that you are being presented with a Divine opportunity to access your latent power to make the darkness shine.<\/p>\n
You may feel frightened of the darkness \u2013 the vulnerability, uncertainty or discomfort that almost always accompanies real change. But this time, don\u2019t stop there. Instead, ask yourself what you would do if you were your fears were not an obstacle.<\/p>\n
Maybe you\u2019d communicate more authentically with someone you love. Maybe you\u2019d try to understand the other person\u2019s point of view. Maybe you\u2019d make that phone call you\u2019ve been putting off. Maybe you\u2019d join that class, apply for that job, start that exercise program, deepen your relationship with G-d, give someone a hug or a smile, or be the first one to apologize even if you weren\u2019t the only one who was wrong.<\/p>\n
The bottom line is this: At every moment you have a choice. Like the man with the missing watch, you can confine your search to the space under the light, remaining limited by your past, by what\u2019s safe and familiar. Or, you can venture instead into the unknown and unfamiliar to seek out and reveal the greater light and potential concealed in the heart of the darkness.<\/p>\n
The choice is yours.<\/p>\n
(*Since the Torah forbids the erasing of G-d’s name, it’s customary to avoid writing it out in full) <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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